Haircut dilemma calls for tough choice



I do a lot of public speaking. I really enjoy being in front of a crowd and telling stories and making folks laugh. It does my heart good, and I think it does theirs good too.

They say laughter is good for the soul. It has a healing quality to it. I believe that, and I intend to do everything I can to make sure the folks around me are healthy. So, I try to make them laugh whenever I can.

Ma Crabapple says I like to push folks’ buttons too. But I only do that when I encounter somebody with a big button hanging out that says, PUSH ME, I DARE YOU.

And then I can’t help it. I just push it. I feel like it’s my duty in a way. Yes sir.

I always try to be observant of the people around me. I notice things. And some of the things I notice are really funny.

Like for instance, when I’m standing up there in front of a big crowd and I spot some really strange heads of hair. Sometimes I’ll even stop and point them out. But everybody already knows who they are anyway.

Folks are funny about their hair. A head of hair that looks good to some folks looks weird to others. But I reckon the only person you really have to worry about pleasing with your hair is you.

Well, in most cases that’s true – but not with my nephew. No sir. He’s got a situation that involves his hair that’s causing him some serious worry and grief.

You see, he just turned 16 years old, and he wants to buy an automobile. But his daddy – my brother O.C. – won’t let him buy an automobile until he gets a haircut. (He’s got really long hair, and his daddy don’t like it one bit.)

He came over to my house the other night to talk to me about it. He knows I always have good advice to offer. After all, I think it’s a fella’s duty to offer guidance and counseling to young folks whenever we have an opportunity.

We sat out on the front porch swing talking about his problem, and he said, “You know Uncle Milton, I was readin’ in The Bible and it dawned on me. Jesus had long hair.”

I said, “Well, that’s true alright.”

Then I told him that if he’d just keep on reading, he’d see that Jesus walked everywhere he went too.

Yes sir.

Milton Crabapple is a professional speaker and entertainer. To book Milton to speak, call 770-993-0004 or email

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